How to Tweak Your iPhone to Impress Buddies, Mom, and the Boss

The iPhone has lots of things other mobiles don't: Wi-Fi, touchscreen control, highly advanced wallet-draining power. But by far its most distinctive feature is the ability to impress the pants off young and old alike. Of course, if you want to get the most out of the iPhone's pocket reality-distortion field, you have to do a bit of optimization. Try it yourself.

...pick up a girl or guy

Set wallpaper to: A photo of your niece or nephew, if trying to meet women. This says "I love kids, but I don't have any." Picking up a guy? Easy. Load an image of booze, food, or a comic book character. Better yet, find one that features all three.

Add to your music: Air, Massive Attack, and the Magnetic Fields. The first two bands play make-out music; the last shows you've evolved a sense of humor about romance.

Add to your movies: A copy of Knocked Up says either "I'm not afraid of commitment" or "I totally understand you and your slovenly, loser friends."

Set your weather widget to: Cities you've always wanted to visit. Oh, wow — you've also dreamed of going to Madrid? We're soulmates!

The closer: Once your object of desire is interested, show them how to work the touchscreen by gently guiding their hands.

...impress your buddies

Set wallpaper to: A picture of your last hot date. Can't remember your last date? Use Google image search and pretend.

Add to your photos: Images of your last hot date, half undressed.

Add to your music: That hard-to-get not-yet-released album you BitTorrented. You're so hip.

Add to your movies: A copy of Kurosawa's High and Low. The great Japanese director's samurai movies are better-known, but this gem shows you've got depth.

Add to your calendar: Lots of social events, including the party they just invited you to. Oh, and bring your iPhone, OK?

The closer: Keep them entertained with iPhone games from MacMost.com and iGiki.com.

...ace a job interview

Set wallpaper to: The hobby you're most accomplished in. "Oh, yeah, that's me. I love chess."

Add to your music: Audiobooks you listen to at the gym — because you believe in constant self-improvement.

Add to your movies: A few episodes of The Office. It's the perfect chance to chuckle about some mildly inappropriate Steve Carell behavior that is particularly funny to you, O Well-Behaved One.

Set Google Maps to: Your future commute.

Add to your calendar: Only the most appropriate after-work activities, plus the one vacation you've already scheduled and will need special time off for.

The closer: Flick to scroll, then tap to stop. Practice enough to always land where you want to. Mastery of the flick-and-tap is indistinguishable from magic. You're so technosavvy!

...make Mom proud

Set wallpaper to: You and the family — or at least your favorite childhood pet.

Add to your music: All the songs she played while you were growing up. No matter how bad they were. Yes, even "Don't Cry Out Loud."

Add to your movies: One favorite film from your childhood for nostalgia, and one current film to kill any creepy nostalgia aftertaste. Blech!

Preload YouTube clips of: Classic viral videos. Your mom is probably among the few people in the world who haven't seen the piano-playing cat or the Star Wars kid.

Add to your calendar: A date with Mom. (Warning: Remove this item when trying to pick up a guy or a girl.)

The closer: For once, actually respond to her voicemails.
Link